Riots in London

So...who's to blame for these riots? It must be the teachers!! ;-p
xxx

Good Jake Bad Jake

Some bedtime reading....?

I meant to put this on a while ago, but typically, I was ill as soon as the holidays began and then distracted....by books, magazines, alcohol, tidying cupboards.
This is our class story with ideas bounced off Willy the Wizard in shared writing sessions. The kids really felt for poor old Jake even though they knew I'd just made him up. Check out Pie Corbett's Talk for Writing. The 5 year old kids wrote some fantasic stories from it, which I would be proud to have written as a (kind of) grown up. I would add their stories too but feel I would be taking advantage of their lack of knowledge of copyright.

GOOD JAKE BAD JAKE

Jake was late for school again because he wouldn’t get up. Within minutes of arriving, Jake was sent to the back corner again. He wanted to be good but he was always bad. He tried to be good. But he never was. ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself. Everyone called him Bad Jake but all he wanted in the world was to be good.

At school, he wanted to get a sticker BUT he kept chatting. He wanted to get a certificate in assembly BUT he kept fidgeting. He wanted to be Star of the Day BUT he never got picked.  ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself and nobody wanted to play with him.

At home, he wanted pocket money BUT his room was too messy. He wanted his mum to read him stories BUT he wouldn’t go to bed when he was asked. He wanted sweets BUT he wouldn’t brush his teeth. ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself and then he thought, ‘But I really want to be good. I’m just not’

That night Jake had a wonderful dream imagining he was good.

The next morning, he woke up smiling and leapt out of bed. When he arrived at school, there was a new boy sat in his seat. The new boy was smartly dressed and already had a sticker on his jumper. ‘He must be good,’ thought Jake. ‘I wish I was like him.’ The new boy said that his name was Good Jake and he wanted to be friends with Bad Jake. Bad Jake couldn’t believe it! He was so excited to have a friend. Good Jake told Bad Jake that he was going to teach him how to be good. Bad Jake told Good Jake that he couldn’t be good. ‘You can do it!’ said Good Jake.

That day, Bad Jake didn’t chat or fidget and he got a sticker, then a certificate and then a merit point. He was getting better and better. When he got home, he couldn’t wait to tell his parents about his new friend. His mum and dad winked at each other. ‘I used to have a friend called Clever Jean,’ said his mum.

‘And I had a friend called Sporty John,’ said his dad. They grinned.

That night Jake fell asleep whilst his mum read him one of his favourite stories.

The next morning, he was excited to get to school and see his new friend. But when he got there, Good Jake wasn’t there. He cried, and cried and cried... ‘What’s wrong, Jake?’ asked Mr Spook, his teacher.

‘W, w, where’s Good Jake? I can’t be good without him,’ Jake whimpered.

‘You can do it!’ said Mr Spook and smiled.

And to Jake’s greatest amazement he could! He got sticker after sticker...until it was almost impossible to see the colour of his jumper. Then something terrible happened....

Jake got caught chatting.

‘I just can’t be good! I am so sorry!’ wept Jake.

‘Don’t be,’ said Mr Spook ‘Give up trying to be perfect. You can do it!’

‘I can!’ said Jake.

Jake got sticker after sticker, day after day, until it was the end of the week.  Jake didn’t get Star of the Day like he wanted....BUT he was picked for Star of the Week! Jake smiled. Mr Spook smiled. Jake’s mum and dad smiled. Everybody smiled.

That night, as Jake was brushing his teeth, he looked in the mirror, Good Jake smiled back and winked at him.

Laters xx

Willy the Wizard

Aaaah bliss!! In full flow of the holiday! After 2 weeks, it has gotten to that stage where it has actually got boring. I am not complaining about that! I am embracing the boredom and enjoying it. It is not very often I have the opportunity to be bored. One year, I planned so much for the holiday that I needed another holiday afterwards. Sometimes nothing is good, from nothing you can do whatever you want! In typical teacher form, I am finding it hard to sit still and keep feeling like I should be doing something. My friend rang me and said, ‘What have you been up to Miss Phitt?’
My response was, ‘absolutely nothing.’ I began to make excuses and give reasons and she said,
‘Don’t feel guilty for it, for *^^( sake!’
It kind of feels like my right leg has been chopped off without a pile of planning and marking...
I forgot to mention that I got the feedback from the marking scrutiny. From the feedback, it was quite evident they hadn’t scrutinised a single one of my books. Everybody’s feedback was identical. In the end I had actually been looking forward to my feedback after sneak peeking at the other teachers’ books. My books might have had naff smiley faces but at least the children hadn’t carefully drawn willies on them like in some of the other classes – well, that’s what comes of telling the kids the story of ‘Willy the Wizard’ By Anthony Browne. Having said that, it’s an amazing story. I love a story with a moral.

Parting gifts

The end of term finally arrived I thought it would never happen. Of course it happens much quicker in all the other countries of the world. It all happened as it should. I woke up at 2pm Saturday and then went to pick up my car from where I'd left it - outside the pub. I enjoyed working at my school for years so I was sad to leave, at the same time I was happy. The boss has said she’s not putting teachers up the pay scale. It just seems mean. Most the teachers at the school are amazing; she just doesn’t see it. Ofsted graded their lessons good. I told her I thought it was unfair. She said yes it is unfair but then she did it anyway.

I’d done the whole ritual of keep safe over the holiday. I will miss you. You have worked hard this year. Enjoy your holiday. I’m sorry to be leaving you etc...then one child said, ‘Do we have school tomorrow?’ Sigh!

I had a strange array of parting gifts all of them very sweet. There were the usual teddies and mugs. I have a huge collection of mugs if only they did plates and bowls I could have a whole matching set. I told the children bottles would be most welcome. I ended up with several bottles of pound shop bubble bath. You always get the gifts with reduced labels and recycled gifts with other people’s names on but there’s nothing wrong with that. One child gave me a banana. I think he saw everyone else giving me gifts and wanted to give me something too. He took it out of his pack lunch box bless him. Then I got the best present in the history of all teacher gifts. A pizza!! It was delivered to me as soon as the bell went. It was exactly what I wanted. How thoughtful of the parent to think of lining my stomach before I headed for the pub. The dad handed it to me in front of the boss. I am sure she thought that I’d been cheeky and had it delivered to the school. But who cares? I’m gone now.

xxx

Teaching 10 Commandments

This is not necessarily a ‘should’, ‘have to’ or ‘must’ but what I think works to have a successful school and home life. I don’t always follow them, in fact right now I'm really not - yet suffering for it!That’s when things tend not to work...1 week left at work...these will act as my New School Year Resolutions in September.

1.       Thou shalt mark all thy books.

2.       Thou shalt be calm.

3.       Thou shalt rest from work on the Sabbath.

4.       Thou SHALT steal. (in the context of ideas, planning, behaviour management techniques etc...)

5.       Thou shalt do what one knows to be right.

6.       Thou shalt honour the fathers and mothers. (Know the importance of parental impact – welcome them. They make the biggest difference – possibly a harder job than ours AND they don’t get paid!)

7.       Thou shalt not murder. (walk away from the boss! Take deep breaths...sometimes what they’re saying is right - other times it is complete nonsense! Call them on it calmly if it makes a difference.)

8.       Thou shalt keep thy word. (Follow up! If a child’s not done what’s been asked, always follow up even if you think it doesn’t matter – it does!)

9.       Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord our God in vain. (swearing in class never a good idea!)

10.   Thou shalt have decent learning objectives and success criteria (take care of these and the lessons take care of themselves)

And right now, thou shalt enjoy the weekend. Miss Phitt xx

The 10 Commandments

After teaching the children about the 10 commandments: Thou shalt not steal: I remembered the paper clips I had nicked from the school office; and how I had really encouraged the children to steal ideas from each other. I felt a little hypocritical. Then I remembered what real thieves do; they call it 'borrowing':
It got me thinking what would the 10 commandments be for teachers? I’m still thinking about it...not so much as 10 OFSTED guidelines but 10 things to make teaching work at home as well as school.

Someone texted me on Friday, 'How r u? The kids behaving themselves?'
My reply was; 'The kids have been good; the boss on the otherhand...' Maybe there should also be 10 commandments for bosses!

Now‘s the time of year when we should really be loving teaching but I’m not. I’m really not. I normally find a way to make myself happy. I normally think of something. I can be happy however big the workload and however naughty the kids are.
It is one of my golden rules to see the kids and the boss for their good and understand how things might be for them. This works. At the same time, I don't agree with someone being out of line and I say something. Our head has given many members of staff letters warning them of capability procedure. I’ve not had a letter and I don’t think I’ll get one but it bothers me. It really bothers me. She’s handing out capability procedures like there’s no tomorrow. I can’t help but feel I’ve handed in my resignation at just the right time. PHEW!!!! xx

Oh Bollocks!!

After having got through OFSTED and been offered a new job, I made the huge vital error, one that teachers very rarely make – of easing off!! I thought ‘I’ve worked my bollocks (yes I know I don’t really have any) off all year. The kids have made huge progress. My lessons are still decent...sports day coming up.’ So my marking was ‘inconsistent’. I’d even done some shitty smiley faces, which are a sure sign of a crap teacher – not a problem, I thought, as they haven’t monitored the books for years. Then my books were called in for a scrutiny.  I cringed at the thought of them looking at my smiley faces. Hmm I was thinking of excuses to get out of it. When asked, ‘Why is your marking shit?’

I can hardly say; ‘because it clashed with my social calendar.’ Or; ‘It’s a waste of time; 5 year olds don’t read it.’ Or; ‘I’m not a fucking martyr I’ll have you know!! Do you know how many hours I already work overtime! I’ve got reports, assessments....’ Or, ‘I thought I’d ease off for a bit.’ My current idea is to say; ‘I’m sorry, I prioritised other things and I know I’ve done wrong – can I get it all done and shown to you by Friday?’

I had thoughts about my boss informing my new boss of the smiley faces and my new job being withdrawn. At the end of the day, I’m having dramas!! My good girl reputation is tarnished by my shitty smiley faces, and by my own standards – crap marking is a huge faux pas in teaching.

My feedback so far has been; ‘there’s some lovely work in your books.’ So I’m worrying about nothing. It reminds me once again that there’s no purpose to worrying, and that what you spend ages and ages, and so much of your time worrying about, never happens.

We’re on strike tomorrow. I hope it does some good. I am happy to feel that I am doing something and making a contribution to protecting our pay and pensions. It made me smile when Gove suggested getting the parents in to keep schools open. It made it clear the government are a little unclear what it is like in our state schools. Firstly a large majority of parents at our school wouldn’t pass the CRB check and then we would return on Friday to find all the overhead  projectors had been nicked. Without a doubt, their marking would be better than mine. xxx