Rough as an ol' badger's arse

So I haven’t written for a while. Things have been going far too well! I’m glad I don’t have the dramas of my old job; it was such nonsense! So it’s half term, I had a fantastic observation, which I kinda knew would happen but at the same time it is habit for me to worry for weeks beforehand, and finally I have been on a week’s residential with the kids – great fun! I was rough as an ol’ badger’s arse afterwards tho.  Nights of being woken up by whispering children outside my door plotting to run away – ever the concerned teacher, I rolled over and fell back fast asleep. Our last day was the most exciting for the kids – a disco!!!  AND shopping for gifts and souvenirs! We let them loose around the shops; and once we rounded them up again, I asked to see what they had bought , expecting postcards, keyrings or magnets – They bought plastic dog turds.

Anyway, the rumour is the new OFSTED guidelines are all about making children independent learners – I’m not sure what they learnt from independently buying plastic dog turds but I learnt that it was much more fun for me to go and get a cuppa than try and stop them buying them. 20 years ago I had the excitement of buying a plastic dog turd myself. Independent learning: sounds good to me! Sounds about time too! Something which will actually make a difference! We need to change this culture of young, dumb and living off mum and get ourselves outta the credit crunch. After years of working my ass to the bone to have resources so that no kid could possibly fail, this was music to my ears.  So we let the kids be independent on our residential trip and one had a play fight and broke his leg. Sleepless teachers’ nights at the hospital and we returned him home (after his parents couldn’t be arsed to pick him up) to....guess what? ;-p

xxx

Observation Panic!

So it’s now the period of observations – the time teachers love most. Calm, professional, able teachers suddenly become panicking, nervous wrecks looking for anybody they could possibly blame if they don’t pull off a good one. Our head is incredibly supportive yet this is scary shit!  But do observations mean anything? Do they really reflect how good a teacher you are? And how useful are they really? They are perhaps, the biggest factor affecting stress and teachers’ emotional wellbeing. I’ve had every grading: Unsatisfactory, Satisfactory, Good and Outstanding. At the same time, it is important to monitor the quality of learning although it could be done in a different way. Ofsted have changed the guidelines. It’s more about the overall big picture, which suits me and makes more sense. It’s no longer based on putting on a good show. Life is on hold until the observation. But it’s all worth it for the intense elation you feel afterwards. Right now, I am anti-observations. If I pull off a good one this week, we know my view will change.xx

Everyone wants a piece of me but I just want some peace!

After 3 weeks, it feels like I’ve been at my new school forever. So as promised, the silver lining has worn off and here’s some moans about this much better school. This tends to be the case once you’ve settled in somewhere. There also tends to be 2 common moans, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing: Time and Money.

So what do you think of school clubs? I’ve always thought they were great until... they asked me which one I wanted to do? Eeermm none! - My unspoken response. Why would I want to spend my mornings, evenings and lunchtimes doing a club out of the goodness of my heart when I could be spending my time gossiping and drinking coffee in the staffroom? Well, that’s not strictly true but it is my breakfast, lunch and tea time. ‘So can we sign you up for running club?’ I thought about it and thought I might as well use it as my twice weekly exercise sessions...until they told me it’s at lunchtime- suddenly images of kids running around puking up their lunch crossed my mind. Then some papers appeared on my desk ‘these are for your 11+ club.’ Oh dear! I’m all for making 11+ tuition available as I think some bright little buttons fail the test because the poor little sods haven’t been given tutoring. But my main concern is always teachers’ wellbeing. I’ve got enough work doing the normal teach, plan, mark and assess etc etc. Well, some clubs are paid- perhaps there is a bright side after all. Somehow clubs don’t seem so bad if you’re getting paid for them. It’s a case of not enough time...isn’t it? Yet more time suddenly comes available if you’re getting paid for your time. If I’m not, I’ll skill myself up ready to say ‘NO!’ by half term. If I am, I’ll put the money towards a relaxing holiday by half term.

And what do you think of teachers buying their own resources? I also don’t believe in teachers spending their own money on resources – we’re not Avon ladies after all. Today I asked where I could get hold of some folders – Tescos was the answer. Hmmphh!!

So I’ve got a couple of options: 1) Request being paid for clubs and request resources to be ordered 2) Don’t do it and stop moaning about it ;-P

Btw, there’s something I read, I think it was in one of Frank Chalk’s books- about children in rough schools being far uglier than in other schools. Whilst I realise it is completely against political correctness, I chuckled to myself when my good looking 11+ class arrived, remembering the vacant-faced uglies of my previous rough school. I actually enjoyed doing the clubs ...ssshhh!! Don’t tell anyone!

Xxx

Work/Life Balance - welcome back holidays, weekends and evenings I've missed u xx

I’m so glad to be at my new school and can only reinforce the importance of getting into a good school although in true human form I'm sure it won't be long before I find something to moan about. Right now, there’s a few reasons why my new schools great:

1)      The boss is calm and knows his stuff. Having worked for incompetent nutters in the past; this was a relief to discover. The only problem with him knowing his stuff is he knows when you’re stuffing up; and even though he might not say anything, you know he knows. We have observations coming up and the teachers are shitting themselves. I don’t know a teacher who isn’t shit scared of observations. For a while, I chilled out. I knew I’d get a satisfactory grading for even my worse lessons. Trouble is, now, satisfactory is not satisfactory. Is it possible to be graded ‘outstanding’ without working your butt off? I once got an ‘outstanding’ grading for my lesson; needless to say I’d worked my ass off.

2)      The school is technically advanced. The children have just had their thumbs scanned for ordering their lunch – god knows how that works. The register is electronic as is the reward system. The parents can then log on at home and see the positive comments left by the teacher every day. Check it out at http://www.vivomiles.com/. You can access everything at home (when you know how) the only problem, after a hard day’s work, is switching off – literally. Technology is great – as long as you know how to use it. I’m just waiting for an electronic robot teacher who I can program to teach all my lessons whilst I put my feet up and drink tea, oil it once in a while and get paid for it.

3)      Some of the children work at a really high level so I am never bored. I was beaten at a maths challenge for the first time in 5 years. One of my extension tasks is often: ‘think of a question related to the LO which you can answer but you think the teacher can’t.’ More often than not I can answer it; I’ve had years of practice at this game. This time, I was beaten on Monday in a sequencing lesson when a 10 year old boy came up with a sequence I couldn’t crack in the time available. I’ve cracked it now but see how long it takes you:

0, 7, 26, 63, ?, ?

4)      Its well organised.

The boss also stresses the importance of a work/life balance...so on that note, I’ll bid you goodnight as I am off to bed at a reasonable hour.

Miss Phitt xx

I guess it really makes a difference which school you choose.

Back at work already. Our first day back was Friday. After one hard day’s work, I was absolutely knackered. Its gonna take something to get back in the swing of working Mon-Fri again. So I’m at a new school – what a different ball game! So strange yet so much better. We had a range of team building games – including a blindfolded assault course. This would never have happened at my old school. I guess it really makes a difference which school you choose.
xx

ICEBREAKERS TO GET TO KNOW YOUR CLASS

Of course these can also be altered for adult party games and I have used them for fun at a charity event I organised. You can even use them when you’re bored at home with your family.

• If you could be anybody for the day, who would it be, and why?
• If you were an animal which animal would you be?
• If you were in a book what kind of book would it be?
• If you could have a superhero power – what would it be?
• If you had a magic wand, what would you do with it?
• If you could preserve a piece of land forever what would it be?
• What’s your favourite quotation?
• What’s your favourite song?
• If you had a magic carpet, where would you go on it?
• If you had an invisible cloak, how would you use it?
• Who would you like to turn into a frog and why?
• What would you do if you shrunk to the size of a thumb?

Hmm now I'm going to think what my answers would be - the kids always ask! xxx

Born to teach?

I was drifting off after another hard day watching Jeremy Kyle and 60 Minute Makeover when a  programme came on about student drs. They were at a university hospital, one which I had been to when a student doctor sent me to the Oncologist after misdiagnosing my tonsillitis. Well, the student drs in this series tended to be the children of drs. This made me think ... do most teachers have parents who are teachers? Was I destined to be a teacher even before I was a glint in my dad’s eye? My mum was a teacher and my granddad did some form of teaching. Which also made me think – Oh no!! I’m turning into my mum...a future of bad hairstyles (helmet hair) and being bossy (bless her xx)... I didn’t really know about any other careers apart from; Drs (too much studying involved), nurses (don’t like blood), secretaries (tried it for a bit) or engineering (nasty experience with the Physics syllabus)...so teaching it had to be. It happened unconsciously. After thorough researching, i.e chatting to my teacher friends, I found out many teachers have teacher parents; or parents in education but many don’t too, so that was an end to my theory. But there is definitely more likelihood...

So I am now researching another theory: Are teachers’ kids ever cool? My old photos are evidence that this teacher definitely was not cool but luckily nobody recognises me. Who is the strange looking boy? That would be me but I’m making up for it now!

Have all teachers’ kids had the same experiences? Walk into any classroom and you will be able to guess which ones are the kids of teachers - just look for the joker with a pudding bowl hair cut. A past of shit hairstyles, jigsaws, educational holidays, awful clothes, participating in every extra-curricular activity going- ever single night – tuition, brownies, hockey club, violin lessons, scrabble club...One thing teachers’ kids tend to be is funny, well, you have to be to compensate for being so uncool. BUT guess what? You really appreciate it as adult and I’m a secret scrabble fiend on the sly. I love it. Nowadays I just tend to play it in my high heels rather than in my brown lace ups and lopsided NHS glasses.
xx