Friday Frolics

I'm a teacher. It's Friday so I'm ECSTATIC!!!!! Like millions of teachers around the world, I am on my way to the pub - happy and of course KNACKERED! The millions of other teachers, who are not off to the pub are all off somewhere else- Bed. It depends what kind of teacher you are. The pub teachers tend to be the happier of the two and shockingly the least knackered. What is the reason I teach? Is it simply for this gorgeous Friday feeling of utter contentment? Is it for the joyous rapture of writing Friday on my board?

I'm undecided. Do I love teaching? Or do I hate it? Do all teachers feel like this? Or is it just me?

I'm writing a blog to answer these unanswered questions. I'm also writing it for fun because whatever teaching is; it is definitely fun. I'm also undecided what is teaching? Because a lot of the job, ironically, has fuck all to do with teaching anybody anything.

I'll remain anonymous and will never give place names or people's names but I will give details. I will dish the dramatic delights and unspoken dirt of teaching, or what I know of it. Share with me and teach me a thing or two or just make me laugh. I want to use this to give teachers freedom to say what they really think! Freely show their true swearing selves and share whatever they want on their mind without fear or judgement; or more obviously just have fun.

Today for me was an average Friday. I teach 5 year olds. They make a mess. I find my main purpose in teaching 5 year olds is teaching them how to make a mess and then clear it up afterwards. At the moment, I am having much more success with the former rather than the latter. I also teach them how to be quiet. 5 year olds won't stop talking! There is not anything more irritating than people who talk too much. In fact there are some ladies on the train talking far too much as I type- irritating! After all I have been dealing with 30 little people who have been talking too much all day and all I can say is 'be quiet, sweetie' or 'shhh' or 'stop talking' We all know what teachers really want to say! Teachers also say 'listen' when they want children to stop talking. Unfortunately the children aren't listening, so telling them to listen is rarely a successful strategy. Similarly to the ladies on the train; most of what 5 year olds say is nonsense. I also teach the children to read and write. I love this and this is why I do the job.

I had a child poo themselves today and there was nobody to clean it up but me. I was tempted to ask a child who always wants to do jobs for me but knew there was only one true candidate. This was one of the times when I thought why do I put up with this shit?

Laters
Miss Phitt x