Teacher Support

I read some data the other day that education makes very little difference on how much success you have in life...made me think but surely it is necessary to be able to add up and read to have success? I also read 90% of what children learn is from their peers - an interesting fact too...and makes sense too as my whole sex education was from my peers - much to my parents' relief.
So I am very happy that it's the end of term and I get some relaxation. I was enjoying the last couple of weeks of the Christmas curriculum. There is always the debate when the Christmas curriculum should start and some teachers ca not bring themselves to do anything that isn't a proper lesson. I chose to compromise and do a pass the parcel with maths questions between each layer. The kids were not very happy as they were expecting a sweet between each layer. However most of my Christmas maths questions involved counting sweets.
It was also nice the last day of term the children bringing me gifts. I got them all a small gift too, of course there was one brat who said, 'is that all we get?' I also had another gift: a nasty anonymous letter from one of the parents. I was upset at first as I was accused of doing things I didn't do but the other staff and head teacher were so supportive that it actually had the reverse effect of upsetting me on my last day of work, which had been its spteful intention. Some of the other teachers had had them to but I guess I just have to work harder at improving relationships with parents. Yet at the same time sometimes 'having a pop' at the teacher is just their way of covering up their poor parenting skills.
Its the holidays now - so time to relax! xx

Philosophical question: Is it ever possible to avoid hurting somebody?

After having my philosophy training, I couldn’t wait to teach it, as is often the case after a training session. As is also often the case, it went disastrously wrong and my enthusiasm bubble was instantly burst. I originally thought it went well. I shared the stimulus of the Father Christmas Coca Cola advert. Some children knew the history of it and I was proud of their knowledge. They then went on to develop philosophical questions such as; Is it right to use a positive role model to advertise something that can be bad for you? Are things ever as good as you expect them to be? Is it really better to give than receive? Are we really hoping to receive when we give? I was pleased with the kids. They all appeared to be enthused and engaged in the lesson. I raved about it in the staff room. Then my bubble was cruelly burst by a barrage of parental complaints. One of the children had developed the question: Does magic exist? I thought it was a good question. I didn’t offer any opinion of my own. The children discussed it and used all the vocabulary I had taught them. I was so pleased. I vowed to myself to teach philosophy more often. Until the head called me out, ‘I’ve had a complaint from one of the parents.’ Oh no!

It had come up in our discussion whether Father Christmas existed or not. I let the children have their opinions and reinforced there was no right or wrong opinion. One little boy told us how he had caught his dad eating the mince pies he had left for santa. The complaint from the parent had been that her daughter thought Father Christmas really did exist and I had burst her bubble. I hadn’t meant to. Now, I feel gutted for the kid. I feel her pain.

I remember that pain. I discovered gifts in the boot of my dad’s car. I didn’t say anything but it was obvious Santa didn’t exist when it was the gifts from my dad’s car which appeared in the stocking. Balls! Don’t you hate it when you’re full of enthusiasm with every good intention and it goes wrong???

xxx

Philosophical Questions

So I haven’t written for a bit. I’ve been having the teaching wobblies. Then I realised I had PMT. PMT and teaching don’t mix very well. In fact, it its one of the worst combinations ever. When I’m having the wobblies, I realise it is just that time of the month when I go insane and everything upsets me. I had a parent ring up complaining saying, ‘you said don’t you dare speak to me like that to my child.’ I knew I’d been grumpy with my PMT but with the PMT I start to doubt myself...I was thinking I was out of order...but then I realised I was completely within my rights to say that.

So I’ve been on a ‘Philosophy for children’ course today. Great stuff and very enjoyable!!! I recommend it! I actually learnt more for myself than to actually teach it but I’ve got another session tomorrow. I realised I’m always stressing myself out to get the kids the best grades; and I normally succeed with this but at the end of the day the philosophy and PSHE may have a much greater positive impact on their lives; and on mine! As I will teach relaxing thoughtful lessons rather than cramming as much in as possible and stressing myself out. Imagine the kids coming up with questions such as; ‘why do we always want what we don’t have?’...’why do we REALLY want to give rather than receive?’...’what is right or wrong?’...’what makes a good Christmas?’...’Why is family considered important?’...’what is happiness?’...there’s something very satisfying about discussing these philosophical questions even when the answer can seem quite negative...’Does everyone have the same philosophical questions?’...what philosophical questions do you have? xxx

Personality Test

I was having one of those days at work. I was thinking, ‘teaching why do I do it to myself?’ This is a common occurrence for teachers after marking the first assessment of the year where the kids have made no progress. So I did one of those personality tests online, which suggests careers suited to your personality. I was hoping it would come up with an exciting new career I hadn’t thought of. I spent ages answering the numerous questions when finally it came up with a career suggestion for me. What was this career which completely suited my personality?

Teaching.

After sharing my assessment woes with other teachers; I realised we’re all in the same boat and I went and got on with it.

I realised my personality loves teaching my Ego hates it. A personality of wanting to contribute, make a difference, being caring, creative and fun works well. An ego of being a perfectionist, being super cool, liking to show everyone how clever and special I am doesn't work so well. Luckily it was a personality not an ego test. My ego test takes place every day in the classroom. xx

Rough as an ol' badger's arse

So I haven’t written for a while. Things have been going far too well! I’m glad I don’t have the dramas of my old job; it was such nonsense! So it’s half term, I had a fantastic observation, which I kinda knew would happen but at the same time it is habit for me to worry for weeks beforehand, and finally I have been on a week’s residential with the kids – great fun! I was rough as an ol’ badger’s arse afterwards tho.  Nights of being woken up by whispering children outside my door plotting to run away – ever the concerned teacher, I rolled over and fell back fast asleep. Our last day was the most exciting for the kids – a disco!!!  AND shopping for gifts and souvenirs! We let them loose around the shops; and once we rounded them up again, I asked to see what they had bought , expecting postcards, keyrings or magnets – They bought plastic dog turds.

Anyway, the rumour is the new OFSTED guidelines are all about making children independent learners – I’m not sure what they learnt from independently buying plastic dog turds but I learnt that it was much more fun for me to go and get a cuppa than try and stop them buying them. 20 years ago I had the excitement of buying a plastic dog turd myself. Independent learning: sounds good to me! Sounds about time too! Something which will actually make a difference! We need to change this culture of young, dumb and living off mum and get ourselves outta the credit crunch. After years of working my ass to the bone to have resources so that no kid could possibly fail, this was music to my ears.  So we let the kids be independent on our residential trip and one had a play fight and broke his leg. Sleepless teachers’ nights at the hospital and we returned him home (after his parents couldn’t be arsed to pick him up) to....guess what? ;-p

xxx

Observation Panic!

So it’s now the period of observations – the time teachers love most. Calm, professional, able teachers suddenly become panicking, nervous wrecks looking for anybody they could possibly blame if they don’t pull off a good one. Our head is incredibly supportive yet this is scary shit!  But do observations mean anything? Do they really reflect how good a teacher you are? And how useful are they really? They are perhaps, the biggest factor affecting stress and teachers’ emotional wellbeing. I’ve had every grading: Unsatisfactory, Satisfactory, Good and Outstanding. At the same time, it is important to monitor the quality of learning although it could be done in a different way. Ofsted have changed the guidelines. It’s more about the overall big picture, which suits me and makes more sense. It’s no longer based on putting on a good show. Life is on hold until the observation. But it’s all worth it for the intense elation you feel afterwards. Right now, I am anti-observations. If I pull off a good one this week, we know my view will change.xx

Everyone wants a piece of me but I just want some peace!

After 3 weeks, it feels like I’ve been at my new school forever. So as promised, the silver lining has worn off and here’s some moans about this much better school. This tends to be the case once you’ve settled in somewhere. There also tends to be 2 common moans, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing: Time and Money.

So what do you think of school clubs? I’ve always thought they were great until... they asked me which one I wanted to do? Eeermm none! - My unspoken response. Why would I want to spend my mornings, evenings and lunchtimes doing a club out of the goodness of my heart when I could be spending my time gossiping and drinking coffee in the staffroom? Well, that’s not strictly true but it is my breakfast, lunch and tea time. ‘So can we sign you up for running club?’ I thought about it and thought I might as well use it as my twice weekly exercise sessions...until they told me it’s at lunchtime- suddenly images of kids running around puking up their lunch crossed my mind. Then some papers appeared on my desk ‘these are for your 11+ club.’ Oh dear! I’m all for making 11+ tuition available as I think some bright little buttons fail the test because the poor little sods haven’t been given tutoring. But my main concern is always teachers’ wellbeing. I’ve got enough work doing the normal teach, plan, mark and assess etc etc. Well, some clubs are paid- perhaps there is a bright side after all. Somehow clubs don’t seem so bad if you’re getting paid for them. It’s a case of not enough time...isn’t it? Yet more time suddenly comes available if you’re getting paid for your time. If I’m not, I’ll skill myself up ready to say ‘NO!’ by half term. If I am, I’ll put the money towards a relaxing holiday by half term.

And what do you think of teachers buying their own resources? I also don’t believe in teachers spending their own money on resources – we’re not Avon ladies after all. Today I asked where I could get hold of some folders – Tescos was the answer. Hmmphh!!

So I’ve got a couple of options: 1) Request being paid for clubs and request resources to be ordered 2) Don’t do it and stop moaning about it ;-P

Btw, there’s something I read, I think it was in one of Frank Chalk’s books- about children in rough schools being far uglier than in other schools. Whilst I realise it is completely against political correctness, I chuckled to myself when my good looking 11+ class arrived, remembering the vacant-faced uglies of my previous rough school. I actually enjoyed doing the clubs ...ssshhh!! Don’t tell anyone!

Xxx

Work/Life Balance - welcome back holidays, weekends and evenings I've missed u xx

I’m so glad to be at my new school and can only reinforce the importance of getting into a good school although in true human form I'm sure it won't be long before I find something to moan about. Right now, there’s a few reasons why my new schools great:

1)      The boss is calm and knows his stuff. Having worked for incompetent nutters in the past; this was a relief to discover. The only problem with him knowing his stuff is he knows when you’re stuffing up; and even though he might not say anything, you know he knows. We have observations coming up and the teachers are shitting themselves. I don’t know a teacher who isn’t shit scared of observations. For a while, I chilled out. I knew I’d get a satisfactory grading for even my worse lessons. Trouble is, now, satisfactory is not satisfactory. Is it possible to be graded ‘outstanding’ without working your butt off? I once got an ‘outstanding’ grading for my lesson; needless to say I’d worked my ass off.

2)      The school is technically advanced. The children have just had their thumbs scanned for ordering their lunch – god knows how that works. The register is electronic as is the reward system. The parents can then log on at home and see the positive comments left by the teacher every day. Check it out at http://www.vivomiles.com/. You can access everything at home (when you know how) the only problem, after a hard day’s work, is switching off – literally. Technology is great – as long as you know how to use it. I’m just waiting for an electronic robot teacher who I can program to teach all my lessons whilst I put my feet up and drink tea, oil it once in a while and get paid for it.

3)      Some of the children work at a really high level so I am never bored. I was beaten at a maths challenge for the first time in 5 years. One of my extension tasks is often: ‘think of a question related to the LO which you can answer but you think the teacher can’t.’ More often than not I can answer it; I’ve had years of practice at this game. This time, I was beaten on Monday in a sequencing lesson when a 10 year old boy came up with a sequence I couldn’t crack in the time available. I’ve cracked it now but see how long it takes you:

0, 7, 26, 63, ?, ?

4)      Its well organised.

The boss also stresses the importance of a work/life balance...so on that note, I’ll bid you goodnight as I am off to bed at a reasonable hour.

Miss Phitt xx

I guess it really makes a difference which school you choose.

Back at work already. Our first day back was Friday. After one hard day’s work, I was absolutely knackered. Its gonna take something to get back in the swing of working Mon-Fri again. So I’m at a new school – what a different ball game! So strange yet so much better. We had a range of team building games – including a blindfolded assault course. This would never have happened at my old school. I guess it really makes a difference which school you choose.
xx

ICEBREAKERS TO GET TO KNOW YOUR CLASS

Of course these can also be altered for adult party games and I have used them for fun at a charity event I organised. You can even use them when you’re bored at home with your family.

• If you could be anybody for the day, who would it be, and why?
• If you were an animal which animal would you be?
• If you were in a book what kind of book would it be?
• If you could have a superhero power – what would it be?
• If you had a magic wand, what would you do with it?
• If you could preserve a piece of land forever what would it be?
• What’s your favourite quotation?
• What’s your favourite song?
• If you had a magic carpet, where would you go on it?
• If you had an invisible cloak, how would you use it?
• Who would you like to turn into a frog and why?
• What would you do if you shrunk to the size of a thumb?

Hmm now I'm going to think what my answers would be - the kids always ask! xxx

Born to teach?

I was drifting off after another hard day watching Jeremy Kyle and 60 Minute Makeover when a  programme came on about student drs. They were at a university hospital, one which I had been to when a student doctor sent me to the Oncologist after misdiagnosing my tonsillitis. Well, the student drs in this series tended to be the children of drs. This made me think ... do most teachers have parents who are teachers? Was I destined to be a teacher even before I was a glint in my dad’s eye? My mum was a teacher and my granddad did some form of teaching. Which also made me think – Oh no!! I’m turning into my mum...a future of bad hairstyles (helmet hair) and being bossy (bless her xx)... I didn’t really know about any other careers apart from; Drs (too much studying involved), nurses (don’t like blood), secretaries (tried it for a bit) or engineering (nasty experience with the Physics syllabus)...so teaching it had to be. It happened unconsciously. After thorough researching, i.e chatting to my teacher friends, I found out many teachers have teacher parents; or parents in education but many don’t too, so that was an end to my theory. But there is definitely more likelihood...

So I am now researching another theory: Are teachers’ kids ever cool? My old photos are evidence that this teacher definitely was not cool but luckily nobody recognises me. Who is the strange looking boy? That would be me but I’m making up for it now!

Have all teachers’ kids had the same experiences? Walk into any classroom and you will be able to guess which ones are the kids of teachers - just look for the joker with a pudding bowl hair cut. A past of shit hairstyles, jigsaws, educational holidays, awful clothes, participating in every extra-curricular activity going- ever single night – tuition, brownies, hockey club, violin lessons, scrabble club...One thing teachers’ kids tend to be is funny, well, you have to be to compensate for being so uncool. BUT guess what? You really appreciate it as adult and I’m a secret scrabble fiend on the sly. I love it. Nowadays I just tend to play it in my high heels rather than in my brown lace ups and lopsided NHS glasses.
xx

Riots in London

So...who's to blame for these riots? It must be the teachers!! ;-p
xxx

Good Jake Bad Jake

Some bedtime reading....?

I meant to put this on a while ago, but typically, I was ill as soon as the holidays began and then distracted....by books, magazines, alcohol, tidying cupboards.
This is our class story with ideas bounced off Willy the Wizard in shared writing sessions. The kids really felt for poor old Jake even though they knew I'd just made him up. Check out Pie Corbett's Talk for Writing. The 5 year old kids wrote some fantasic stories from it, which I would be proud to have written as a (kind of) grown up. I would add their stories too but feel I would be taking advantage of their lack of knowledge of copyright.

GOOD JAKE BAD JAKE

Jake was late for school again because he wouldn’t get up. Within minutes of arriving, Jake was sent to the back corner again. He wanted to be good but he was always bad. He tried to be good. But he never was. ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself. Everyone called him Bad Jake but all he wanted in the world was to be good.

At school, he wanted to get a sticker BUT he kept chatting. He wanted to get a certificate in assembly BUT he kept fidgeting. He wanted to be Star of the Day BUT he never got picked.  ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself and nobody wanted to play with him.

At home, he wanted pocket money BUT his room was too messy. He wanted his mum to read him stories BUT he wouldn’t go to bed when he was asked. He wanted sweets BUT he wouldn’t brush his teeth. ‘I just can’t do it!’ he said to himself and then he thought, ‘But I really want to be good. I’m just not’

That night Jake had a wonderful dream imagining he was good.

The next morning, he woke up smiling and leapt out of bed. When he arrived at school, there was a new boy sat in his seat. The new boy was smartly dressed and already had a sticker on his jumper. ‘He must be good,’ thought Jake. ‘I wish I was like him.’ The new boy said that his name was Good Jake and he wanted to be friends with Bad Jake. Bad Jake couldn’t believe it! He was so excited to have a friend. Good Jake told Bad Jake that he was going to teach him how to be good. Bad Jake told Good Jake that he couldn’t be good. ‘You can do it!’ said Good Jake.

That day, Bad Jake didn’t chat or fidget and he got a sticker, then a certificate and then a merit point. He was getting better and better. When he got home, he couldn’t wait to tell his parents about his new friend. His mum and dad winked at each other. ‘I used to have a friend called Clever Jean,’ said his mum.

‘And I had a friend called Sporty John,’ said his dad. They grinned.

That night Jake fell asleep whilst his mum read him one of his favourite stories.

The next morning, he was excited to get to school and see his new friend. But when he got there, Good Jake wasn’t there. He cried, and cried and cried... ‘What’s wrong, Jake?’ asked Mr Spook, his teacher.

‘W, w, where’s Good Jake? I can’t be good without him,’ Jake whimpered.

‘You can do it!’ said Mr Spook and smiled.

And to Jake’s greatest amazement he could! He got sticker after sticker...until it was almost impossible to see the colour of his jumper. Then something terrible happened....

Jake got caught chatting.

‘I just can’t be good! I am so sorry!’ wept Jake.

‘Don’t be,’ said Mr Spook ‘Give up trying to be perfect. You can do it!’

‘I can!’ said Jake.

Jake got sticker after sticker, day after day, until it was the end of the week.  Jake didn’t get Star of the Day like he wanted....BUT he was picked for Star of the Week! Jake smiled. Mr Spook smiled. Jake’s mum and dad smiled. Everybody smiled.

That night, as Jake was brushing his teeth, he looked in the mirror, Good Jake smiled back and winked at him.

Laters xx

Willy the Wizard

Aaaah bliss!! In full flow of the holiday! After 2 weeks, it has gotten to that stage where it has actually got boring. I am not complaining about that! I am embracing the boredom and enjoying it. It is not very often I have the opportunity to be bored. One year, I planned so much for the holiday that I needed another holiday afterwards. Sometimes nothing is good, from nothing you can do whatever you want! In typical teacher form, I am finding it hard to sit still and keep feeling like I should be doing something. My friend rang me and said, ‘What have you been up to Miss Phitt?’
My response was, ‘absolutely nothing.’ I began to make excuses and give reasons and she said,
‘Don’t feel guilty for it, for *^^( sake!’
It kind of feels like my right leg has been chopped off without a pile of planning and marking...
I forgot to mention that I got the feedback from the marking scrutiny. From the feedback, it was quite evident they hadn’t scrutinised a single one of my books. Everybody’s feedback was identical. In the end I had actually been looking forward to my feedback after sneak peeking at the other teachers’ books. My books might have had naff smiley faces but at least the children hadn’t carefully drawn willies on them like in some of the other classes – well, that’s what comes of telling the kids the story of ‘Willy the Wizard’ By Anthony Browne. Having said that, it’s an amazing story. I love a story with a moral.

Parting gifts

The end of term finally arrived I thought it would never happen. Of course it happens much quicker in all the other countries of the world. It all happened as it should. I woke up at 2pm Saturday and then went to pick up my car from where I'd left it - outside the pub. I enjoyed working at my school for years so I was sad to leave, at the same time I was happy. The boss has said she’s not putting teachers up the pay scale. It just seems mean. Most the teachers at the school are amazing; she just doesn’t see it. Ofsted graded their lessons good. I told her I thought it was unfair. She said yes it is unfair but then she did it anyway.

I’d done the whole ritual of keep safe over the holiday. I will miss you. You have worked hard this year. Enjoy your holiday. I’m sorry to be leaving you etc...then one child said, ‘Do we have school tomorrow?’ Sigh!

I had a strange array of parting gifts all of them very sweet. There were the usual teddies and mugs. I have a huge collection of mugs if only they did plates and bowls I could have a whole matching set. I told the children bottles would be most welcome. I ended up with several bottles of pound shop bubble bath. You always get the gifts with reduced labels and recycled gifts with other people’s names on but there’s nothing wrong with that. One child gave me a banana. I think he saw everyone else giving me gifts and wanted to give me something too. He took it out of his pack lunch box bless him. Then I got the best present in the history of all teacher gifts. A pizza!! It was delivered to me as soon as the bell went. It was exactly what I wanted. How thoughtful of the parent to think of lining my stomach before I headed for the pub. The dad handed it to me in front of the boss. I am sure she thought that I’d been cheeky and had it delivered to the school. But who cares? I’m gone now.

xxx

Teaching 10 Commandments

This is not necessarily a ‘should’, ‘have to’ or ‘must’ but what I think works to have a successful school and home life. I don’t always follow them, in fact right now I'm really not - yet suffering for it!That’s when things tend not to work...1 week left at work...these will act as my New School Year Resolutions in September.

1.       Thou shalt mark all thy books.

2.       Thou shalt be calm.

3.       Thou shalt rest from work on the Sabbath.

4.       Thou SHALT steal. (in the context of ideas, planning, behaviour management techniques etc...)

5.       Thou shalt do what one knows to be right.

6.       Thou shalt honour the fathers and mothers. (Know the importance of parental impact – welcome them. They make the biggest difference – possibly a harder job than ours AND they don’t get paid!)

7.       Thou shalt not murder. (walk away from the boss! Take deep breaths...sometimes what they’re saying is right - other times it is complete nonsense! Call them on it calmly if it makes a difference.)

8.       Thou shalt keep thy word. (Follow up! If a child’s not done what’s been asked, always follow up even if you think it doesn’t matter – it does!)

9.       Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord our God in vain. (swearing in class never a good idea!)

10.   Thou shalt have decent learning objectives and success criteria (take care of these and the lessons take care of themselves)

And right now, thou shalt enjoy the weekend. Miss Phitt xx

The 10 Commandments

After teaching the children about the 10 commandments: Thou shalt not steal: I remembered the paper clips I had nicked from the school office; and how I had really encouraged the children to steal ideas from each other. I felt a little hypocritical. Then I remembered what real thieves do; they call it 'borrowing':
It got me thinking what would the 10 commandments be for teachers? I’m still thinking about it...not so much as 10 OFSTED guidelines but 10 things to make teaching work at home as well as school.

Someone texted me on Friday, 'How r u? The kids behaving themselves?'
My reply was; 'The kids have been good; the boss on the otherhand...' Maybe there should also be 10 commandments for bosses!

Now‘s the time of year when we should really be loving teaching but I’m not. I’m really not. I normally find a way to make myself happy. I normally think of something. I can be happy however big the workload and however naughty the kids are.
It is one of my golden rules to see the kids and the boss for their good and understand how things might be for them. This works. At the same time, I don't agree with someone being out of line and I say something. Our head has given many members of staff letters warning them of capability procedure. I’ve not had a letter and I don’t think I’ll get one but it bothers me. It really bothers me. She’s handing out capability procedures like there’s no tomorrow. I can’t help but feel I’ve handed in my resignation at just the right time. PHEW!!!! xx

Oh Bollocks!!

After having got through OFSTED and been offered a new job, I made the huge vital error, one that teachers very rarely make – of easing off!! I thought ‘I’ve worked my bollocks (yes I know I don’t really have any) off all year. The kids have made huge progress. My lessons are still decent...sports day coming up.’ So my marking was ‘inconsistent’. I’d even done some shitty smiley faces, which are a sure sign of a crap teacher – not a problem, I thought, as they haven’t monitored the books for years. Then my books were called in for a scrutiny.  I cringed at the thought of them looking at my smiley faces. Hmm I was thinking of excuses to get out of it. When asked, ‘Why is your marking shit?’

I can hardly say; ‘because it clashed with my social calendar.’ Or; ‘It’s a waste of time; 5 year olds don’t read it.’ Or; ‘I’m not a fucking martyr I’ll have you know!! Do you know how many hours I already work overtime! I’ve got reports, assessments....’ Or, ‘I thought I’d ease off for a bit.’ My current idea is to say; ‘I’m sorry, I prioritised other things and I know I’ve done wrong – can I get it all done and shown to you by Friday?’

I had thoughts about my boss informing my new boss of the smiley faces and my new job being withdrawn. At the end of the day, I’m having dramas!! My good girl reputation is tarnished by my shitty smiley faces, and by my own standards – crap marking is a huge faux pas in teaching.

My feedback so far has been; ‘there’s some lovely work in your books.’ So I’m worrying about nothing. It reminds me once again that there’s no purpose to worrying, and that what you spend ages and ages, and so much of your time worrying about, never happens.

We’re on strike tomorrow. I hope it does some good. I am happy to feel that I am doing something and making a contribution to protecting our pay and pensions. It made me smile when Gove suggested getting the parents in to keep schools open. It made it clear the government are a little unclear what it is like in our state schools. Firstly a large majority of parents at our school wouldn’t pass the CRB check and then we would return on Friday to find all the overhead  projectors had been nicked. Without a doubt, their marking would be better than mine. xxx

We double dare you!

So it’s still unknown if we’re gonna strike or not. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13918723 So the government’s warning us...well as teachers, we all know what happens when we warn one of the children...the same thing that happens if you say don’t touch; or don’t dare...they will always touch and they will dare every time. xxx

'Tis the season to be jolly.

I am pleased to hear about the strike. Not only because it’s a day off, but I’m pleased so many people are taking it on. I can use the strike day to get my reports written. They say it will be the biggest strike in history and YES! This time we will win!

It’s yet another ‘busy time of the year’ for teachers; as is every time of the year, apart from the 6 week holiday. It is the season of ‘copy and paste’ and ‘find and replace’. These days parents seem happy with their kids’ school reports. There’s a reason for this, they haven’t read between the lines. At the end of the day, the kids will probably keep their report forever. It is best to do a good job but report writing can be a long and tedious task!

Here’s some tips (and if you have some more please let me know):

·         Check your school policy before writing them.

·         Check with your manager after writing the first couple of reports.

·         Ensure you know how to use copy and paste, find and replace (but remember the purpose of a school report, if they’re all the same, there’s no point writing them and it’s just yet another purposeless task.)

·         There’s no point being nasty, you will only wind yourself up and get told to rewrite them. If the little sod has irritated you all year, remember you are getting rid of them soon.

·         Overdo the praise on well behaved, high ability children – they will tell the other parents in the playground and next year’s parents will want their child to have a report like that- kinda makes you feel good too.

·         Try and say things about the child which will make them better rather than just moaning about them – pointless and again, you can wind yourself up.

·         Think what you really want to say about that child and check the statements below to find a nice way of wording it:

What you want to say:	How to say it:
He is a lazy sod who can’t be arsed with anything.	Sometimes he lacks interest.
He’s a lying little bastard.	He shows creativity and imagination.
...School bully who I always have to bullock.	…has participated in discussions about developing effective and satisfying relationships with peers.
Naughty little shit who’s been driving me mad all year.	…is easily distracted.
*NAME* is a lazy fucker.	*NAME* is occasionally reluctant to participate.
*NAME* is thick.	*NAME* still needs much adult support with practical work.
...can’t write.	...uses drawings to record information.
We’ve taught it but they haven’t learnt it.	...has experienced.
...is simple.	...is able to make simple predictions. ...is able to read simple texts. ...is able to do simple calculations. (emphasis on the simple)
...is tone deaf.	…has difficulty in responding to pitch and rhythm in musical compositions.
...is still pretty crap at...	…is improving…
...the lights are on but nobody’s home.	…is able to switch on the computer. (and that is actually all they are able to do)
...has no mates.	…prefers to work alone.
...keeps bloody swearing.	… understands and reads simple signs and symbols.
Teacher’s pet.	...is an able and enthusiastic member of the group who takes a keen interest in school and appears to enjoy all aspects of the work.

I know these statements sounds bad and negative towards the poor innocent sods but I’m just joking around and negativity is somewhat humorous. It’s a way to make writing 30 reports more interesting and light hearted. I treasure my own school reports which described me as, ‘a high spirited child of a dramatic nature.’ Unfortunately my mum was a teacher and knew that I’d been naughty and had tantrums. Reports can be so much fun!

xxx

OFSTED!!!!!!

So I haven’t written for a few weeks as it has been hectic yet good. I sent off my applications and got an interview at a beautiful school THEN we had the Ofsted telephone call and Ofsted were coming the day of my interview. The boss begged for me to change the date of my interview and so I did. I knew it would be an instant inadequate if a cover teacher took my class. The kids are monkeys and I have so many systems in place that it is tricky for a supply teacher. I have reward charts, star of the day, dinosaur of the day, marble jars, monitors, stickers and lots more...

I thought I’m not letting Ofsted get in between me and that job, so I prepared well. The interview went very well so I was gutted when I wasn’t offered the post. All that work for nothing! At least I’d lost out to a deputy head teacher. But it turns out the work wasn’t for nothing...they said I’d given such a good interview that they’d recommended me to another head teacher and I got a job at his school. It is not as ideal as what I applied for but it is definitely an opportunity. It was one of those moments when you realise everything has a purpose. I also realised how much head teachers talk as they knew so much about my current school too.

After my interview, I prepared like crazy for OFSTED. Then I waited and waited and waited....but they never came to my class. Then the next day I waited and they came for a maximum of 20 minutes and the kids were awful!!! One child even grabbed my boobs in front of the Ofsted inspector. Nothing like that had ever happened before and I expected an instant INADEQUATE. Luckily I got a good grading for my lesson-phew!!!  All that worry for 20 minutes!!! I deliver a lesson I deem to be crap and they say it was really good. Luckily I’m a teacher whose main concern is always the learning. Making things look good rather than making things work can make things tumble down before you. Lots of the teachers were upset to miss out on an ‘outstanding’ grading for their lesson. But do you really have to work your butt off to get an outstanding? I think the outstanding grading comes for the maximising of progress and learning. The inspector told me in my class, there could be more learning if the behaviour was better as the children did not always stop to listen immediately. That was fair enough I thought. There’s lots of discussion about what makes an outstanding lesson. My only concern is; once everyone is outstanding it will become the new satisfactory and that would be hard work.

Laters

Miss Phitt xx

APPLYING FOR JOBS – Academy or not academy? And saving pensions too...

I haven’t written for a bit because I have been in the full throw of filling out application forms. After many years out of playing this game, I found it was a much longer process than I anticipated -especially after my first full week teaching after so many days off. I didn’t really allow myself enough time and didn’t research as much as I would have liked or make my forms as impeccable and professional as I would have liked. It’s all a learning process and I know better for next time. Now is the time when most teachers look for jobs as we only have 2 weeks to give notice for a job starting in September.

The application forms were asking for full working history with no gaps and reasons for leaving. I am sure ‘reasons for leaving’ hasn’t appeared on my teaching application forms in the past. With a full working history of looking up my dates of pot washing and fruit picking, I knew that I would only be applying for jobs I REALLY REALLY wanted. ‘Reason for leaving’ can be a bit of a problem as there’s no way of making ‘got sacked’ look good even if it was 14 years ago; and how relevant is ‘pot washing’ to a teaching job? I get the kids to wash up. We will see how it goes because at the end of the day there is nothing wrong with the job I’ve got; it’s just that some days it seems like ‘existing and surviving’ rather than ‘enjoyment and excitement’.

After seeing the salaries available working in an academy, I began to do my research. Would I want to work in one? The answer is no. The academies are replacing skanky comprehensives and they look like something which has landed from Mars right on top of the comprehensive obliterating it. The unions are strongly anti-academy. I wondered why...it turns out there is no protection regarding teachers’ wellbeing and workload. Despite huge salaries being offered, they are not protected. They state that academies exist for monetary purposes not for the quality of standards in teaching and learning. They state the government wants to privatise schools so that they don’t have to pay for them.

Pensions

So after recalculating the way pension contributions are to be made, teachers will be making greater contributions for the same pension. I believe I would be paying £150 more per month for a pension I am expected to receive aged 68. £150 per month is quite useful to me so I am not contented to see it going on nothing. Most teachers too, have studied a minimum of 4 years so have substantial student loans to pay off. I have paid off my student loan which was probably due to me working 25 hours a week whilst doing a full time degree and the support of my parents, which not everybody has. However I do think this had an impact on the degree I got. Some of the teachers I work with have up to £25K student loan to pay off. After hearing of these increased contributions, I considered cashing in my pension but you can only do this within your first years of teaching. The NUT has a ballot to strike so that’s the action I will take. Our pay has been frozen, now pensions are threatened...if we don’t do anything what will be next? Take action and play with the pension loss calculator at http://www.teachers.org.uk/

End of the holidays

Tomorrow we are back to work. I am not quite in teacher mode yet. A long holiday abroad and returning to gorgeous sunshine makes it feel like it’s already the summer holidays. These long holidays are a definite perk of teaching. In fact independent schools have even longer holidays so that may be a career route to look at.

I’ve just been to South America and haven’t quite returned in one piece. We decided to climb a volcano in Chile without thinking about it carefully. People had said it was hard but after reaching the summit with just a little bit of a sweat I thought they were wimps until...I slid the 2.8km back down on my arse and landed on a volcanic rock. Still feeling it now...over a week later...the pain’s not easing...

We were very excited to stay in an ecotouristic hotel. I was expecting solar panelling, composting, those holes in the ceiling which let natural light through but at less than £10 a night the reality of this ecotouristic hotel was a sign saying ‘please shower with a friend and turn the light out when you are bonking.’

Holiday Time xx

The long holiday has begun; life is very good for all us teachers. In fact it has never been so good with next term bringing us 2 bank holidays and a polling day as well as being a very short term; of course we will still be paid the same amount. If cuts involve cutting the amount of time we have to work, I don’t mind so much. My excitement is shared by all different kinds of teachers all over. In fact my excitement has made people question if I really enjoy my job. Most of the time I do but I enjoy relaxing, going on holiday and doing what I want even more. If there was a career of doing what I wanted, relaxing and going on holiday and getting paid for it- I would do it. I know some people classify being on the dole as this but I feel the dole is not the job for me. I like to burn the candle at both ends and even through the middle at times.

Miss Phitt xx

Getting the buggers to behave

Have you read the papers this week? There always seems to be a teacher who has behaved badly. This week there was the teacher in Germany who killed a rabbit and ate it ...but then again we are always told to produce practical lessons and that was very practical – not a worksheet in sight! There was another teacher whose pupils found topless photographs of her. She was working at a top boys’ school. As a former topless model didn’t the school consider it might be a bad idea to employ her at an all boys’ school? I’m not a topless model but would probably think carefully before applying for a job at an all boys’ school. When I was a student teacher, I remember what some teenage boy students could be like. I turned up for my teaching practice smartly dressed in a black suit. Unfortunately the school uniform turned out to be a black blazer. I was waiting outside the classroom and the teenage boys assumed I was a new pupil. I got to hear all their banter and excitement about having a student teacher. Then I went in and taught them.

Perhaps having to be a role model makes teachers rebel. When my teaching is not going so well, I have often thought about packing it all in and getting a job as a stripper, but it’s never a serious thought... is it? I have read about a male teacher who was caught moonlighting as a stripper and a female teacher who took up the new career of being a porn star as it was better paid. It must be the impact of teachers’ pay cuts.

5 days to go until the Easter holidays. Life is good right now as a teacher. There’s planning and assessments to be done and then that’s it. I’m ready for the holiday, some relaxation and some serious scoffing of Easter eggs. My 5 year olds are not usually happy to be presented with an assessment booklet full of too much writing but since I have renamed an assessment ‘a quiz’ things have been good. I also tell them the quiz is a reward for working so hard and that they will find it great fun. They feel obliged to at least pretend they are enjoying it as they wouldn’t want to appear ungrateful, which is a great relief after the tears and tantrums I got when I called it ‘an assessment’.  The teachers are looking forward to the holidays, so are the children. The parents on the other hand are not so happy

Parental Impact and Money Matters

I’m watching that super scrimping programme. I love programmes like this; they always end up integrated into my teaching somehow the next day. It’s very interesting that the average household has £8K debt yet landfill is getting greater. Are we really just throwing that money away? I was teaching the 5 year olds money matters today. It was interesting too. We talked about if we found some money what we would do with it. Nobody suggested saving or investing it. When asked what to do if we don’t have any money, I expected the answer- ‘get a job.’ The answers were ‘get a loan’, ‘nick some off your big brother’ or ‘borrow some off your mum.’ Fun and games!

We also had Parents Evening today. I find this to be one of the elements, which has the most impact on the children’s learning. I spread myself between 30 kids so my teaching and time is only 1/30. If I tell the parents what the children need to learn they can do it 1:1 and make a quick impact. Studies very clearly show that parents have an enormous impact on a child’s education. I remember it was my mum who taught me to read well before I started school. I remember finding school work very easy and got grade As in English and Maths without feeling like I had worked for them. I can flog myself away in the classroom for a year but a 10 minute conversation with a parent can make such a difference. I also show the parents how to read with their children and how to make homework and learning spellings fun as many parents suffer pain, tantrum and tears with these at home and it needn’t be that way.

laters
Miss Phitt x

Sunday Funday or Sunday Blues?

I am sooo glad 1/4 of a million people turned up to protest in London:-))))) I acknowledge the lot of them! We need people like them. So what's this about the government increasing spending on firing missiles costing £500K a time and then cutting the pay of nurses, teachers and police? The nurses, teachers and police will soon be firing one of those missiles right up the government's ass!!

I’ve just been on facebook and the statuses are suggesting there are some severe cases of Sunday Blues around. I used to be a sufferer of the Sunday blues but now I have lovely, relaxed, fun and rose coloured Sundays without a hint of blue. I have gone through several stages and have come out the other end on a high.

Sunday blues sometimes occur when there is a feeling of not being prepared or of a bad Monday. There's no point feeling blue because a Monday has never been known to kill anybody! You don't know it's going to be bad. In fact they never tend to be as bad as you think they will be.

When I began teaching, I combatted Sunday Blues by working into the early hours of the morning to ensure I was prepared. This is not a workable or a recommended strategy. It produced good results in the short term but in the long term it produced one grumpy, moody, pissed off and knackered teacher with not such good results.

Nowadays I have a different approach to Sundays and the blues are no more. As well as enjoying my Sundays, I enjoy my evenings too. Here are some tips if you are a sufferer:

1) Organise something fun to do on a Sunday rather than sitting at home thinking about what horrors might happen the next day. If you are thinking you have too much to do and can't go out; this is a misconception. Staying in will result in lots of thinking and not much doing. If you have a fun day you will probably find you do all your work too.

2)Get your things ready Friday before leaving work. Prioritise and give yourself a cut off point. If you haven't got it ALL done, acknowledge yourself for what you have done and don't worry about what you haven't done. Worrying doesn't make it happen.

3) If you constantly have the Sunday blues consider you are over planning and over preparing or are maybe spending your time doing work which doesn't make much of a difference to the teaching and learning in your classroom.

4) Don't blame the boss, the job or other people for your Sunday Blues. If they have asked you to do something you don't have the time available for, request an extension or apologise and say when you can get it in for.

5) Are you trying to be perfect? Give this up. It doesn't have to be perfect.

6) Scared you're going to get in trouble? Give this up too. You might get in trouble whatever you do and you might not do. Don't try and avoid getting into trouble to keep somebody else happy. Do what you feel is the right thing to do. 

7) Make your work load workable. Giving up family, friends and boyfriends is not workable and will also make your work suffer. Some nights you may need to work late but plan in breaks and relaxation periods. This way you get more work done.

Sad your weekend is over and has gone too quickly??? Well there's always next weekend.

Laters

Miss Phitt xxx